I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
