It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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