I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
