Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
