i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize