no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
