Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
