Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize