oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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