i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You took a bar mat shot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
