Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
