It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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