don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I love you.
Bad choice
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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