I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
