Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'm too high and old for this...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
