if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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