I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
