The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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