rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
