I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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