There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
