right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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