Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
