you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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