I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
