chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
