I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
