His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
