this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am full of burrito and curiosity
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
