all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
