it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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