this beer tastes like vomit already
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
