these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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