When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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