If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
