How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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