There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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