he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
