i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found the puke drawer
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I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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