I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How does one acquire holy water?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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