Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
