Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
