I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize