Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
this hospital has no fireball
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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