So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize