I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
