I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
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Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
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you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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