its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
