I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
