I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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