I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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