I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
