Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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