brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
