I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
