Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
