I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
