is your mom at the bar?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
