Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do vagina's smell?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
