I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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