Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
