all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
