Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
