the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
where are you?
Hypothermia
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
