omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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