i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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